Would you too rather be a door keeper in the house of God, than dwell in the tents of wickedness? Would you rather dwell with Him or be so removed from God that you know not whats on His heart? (PSALM 27:4 One thing I ask of the Lord that one thing I seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and inquire in His temple.
We can not be proactive, effective followers of Jesus, if we neglect the place of personal relationship with the father, including devotion, encounter and adoration. If we do not have these, we are following our own desire, seeking out our will not Gods. Wanna see a generation seek the face of God again? Wanna see a nation transformed by his power? (Yes God can do it with us), God wants to use us, but to see this happen, we the people God is using must be sitting at the fathers feet. Let Him teach you, let Him show the way, soak in His courts of Love, so that the deep mysteries of God might be revealed among you and His word instilled unwavering in your heart.
Come back to God, is arms are open, his soul willing, his desire to lead you is there, His tears shedding every moment you choose your way is better.